Monday, September 3, 2007
Family Names
Not all families follow the practice of passing down names, but some do. In my family, the first born girl gets the name Judith. Yep, that's right I am a 6th generation Judith. My mother goes by Judy so when I was born I was named Judith Kelly. (THANK GOD I go by Kelly!) To me, Judith seems so old fashioned. I think it is more common for boys to receive a name from their father. But what if the child grows up and decides not to follow the tradition? Does this make them ungrateful or disrespectful against their family? For me, I feel obligated to name my first child Judith. I don't particularly like the name, but I would feel like I had disappointed my mother if I didn't follow suit. So, the question is.. Is following tradition really worth a somewhat "out of date" name?
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14 comments:
I want to know what did your Mom yell down the street when she was calling you home for dinner?
We have some of the same stories in my family. My second oldest sister is named after my mother, Helen. We call her Cookie. Cookie turned right around and gave her son her husband's family name Pimberton. Fortunately, I think, it was only reeled off when he graduated from school: Gregory Pimberton Palmer. UGH.
My brother Jim was named afer our grandfather Linford. He didn't pass that onto his son Carey James--good thing 'cause Jim died and Carey proudly carries his dad's name.
All of my 6 siblings are named after someone. My dad said he just liked the name Dale. Maybe it's true 'cause I named my son Marc 'cause I never met a Mark/Marc who I didn't like.
Judith Kelly I'm glad I didn't have to make the decision that looms in front of you. I guess the only solution is to just have boys!
I feel sorry for you. I know that it is tremendous pressure on you to follow your family tradition. Just think of it this way...having that name was not so bad for you. I would rather follow the tradition than upset my mother.
My dad sort of broke tradition with that naming game. Instead of nameing his first born child after My Grandfather as he had been named, He named my brother Nicholas Kent, Kent being the middle name of my grandfather. What did he do with the 1st name Micheal? He gave it to me in a feminine form. My full name is Michelle (after my grandfather) Eleanor (after my grandmother). As for My Mother's side? My Older sister, my mom, and my grandmother all have the name laura, but only my mother goes by that name. As for you Judy? I think you should take to your mother about how attached she is to the name Judith. It never hurts to ask and you're not failing 6 generations if you don't name one of your children Judith.
I wouldn't follow suite if I didn't like the name. May be selfish, but with all respect, I don't care! :o)
I definitly feel for you though because that would be a hard decision for some people. Guilt tends to set in very easily.
I see no problem with it if I like the idea, though. My father-in-law's name is Kenneth Steven. He named my husband Kevin Sean (get it? Both their initials are K.S) so Kevin wanted our son (Kellen Sean) to have the same initials. Sean was the only "S" name we could think of that we liked.
Im so glad that my family does not fallow this, there is the occasional Jr. or Third, but it's not expected. I believe in individuality, I know that a name does not make your personality but it's a reflection on you. On the same hand I wouldn't mind naming one of my children after a much respected relative or friend that had an important role in my life. After six generations I would feel obligated as well to use it, but I would definately use the middle name that I chose to call my child.
My family is very similar. My name the first born always has a name that starts with an A. My father is Alan and his dad had an A in his middle name. My name is Aaron and my brother has an A in his middle name. A's have followed my family since before they came to America.
My family doesn't have any kind of "name tradition". My brothers have always just picked their favorite names when they name their children. So, with that being said, there is no pressure for me or my brothers to name our children spicific names. But, I can imagine what it would be like. Personally, I think people should name their babies based on what they want to name them, not to mkae someone else happy. But, if naming your child a certain name follows suit to some sort of tradition, I understand that it would be very difficult to name it anything else other than that certain name. It is a complicated situation, and to figure out a solution solely depends on the persons feelings.
I think it's great to pass on family names as a tradition. However, I do think you have to keep in mind how that name fits in today.. My boyfriend's cousin had a little boy and named him Alfred because it was a family name.. They call that poor little baby Al. I just think that's sad. lol But my little sister is Eileen Katherine Veronica McGuinn. My two great grandmothers were Katherine and Veronica and my parents couldn't agree on which name to give her so they gave her both! How would you like your initials to be E.K.V.M.? ;) James and Michael are also names that have been passed down in my family. I think those are good names and I would consider using them for my children. It just depends on what the name is, I guess.
We really thought alot about this naming 4 children. My husband hates his Jr. name LUTHER HOYT he goes by "Luke" so we named our only son Lucas Allen after my husband and my dad, but we also have 3 girls some with family names and some not. My greatest delima came with my last girl, over the years I became more sentimental to these issues and decided to name our daughter after grandmothers...whew my husbands grandmothers were MAMIE and LOUISE and mine were EULALAH and CLYDE....what was I to do....we went with MIDDLE names, that way the love and relation was there without the so called "freak" names. I know that even some of the new names in society today get alot of complaints and I think families should think about that also. Long, oddly spelled, and hard to pronounce can make life just as miserable as a boy going through life name Francis..(my grandfathers name)
I do believe that there is a great connection if it is a family member that you adore and want to express that feeling. anyway as you have proven...there are always nicknames.
I guess I have a semi-unique perspective on this issue. This may be a repetition for some, but I'll give the story of my name. My first name is my mother's maiden name, Vaughn. There are two main reasons I got that name. First is in honor of my grandfather who died when my mom was a teenager. The other is that along with my mother only having sisters, various other circumstances resulted in there being no male heirs to carry on the Vaughn name. My last name, Linscott, is even rarer, with only a couple thousand of us around. And so, I carry them as first and last name, and always have to spell both of them. As for my plans, if and when I have a son, I think I'll give him Vaughn as a middle name.
Family traditions are nice, if you feel that way and think of it more of an honor than a perquisite. If it's all out of obligation, you're never going to like it, so I'd try to find another way. Personally, I think middle names and nicknames are great for this, plus it gives the person WITH the name a choice when they grow up.
Yes, it is out of date, and for the lack of better explination, I think it is particually up to the person nameing the child to make the decicion to continu that name. Yes, it is out of date, and for the lack of better explanation, I think it is particularly up to the person naming the child to make the decision to continue that name. I like to think that when naming a child after a previous parent or relative that it is out of respect. And heck, if someone gives birth to ya, I think that gives them all the right in the world to name you what they wish. Not many people really enjoy there name. But when named after someone, at lease you can take notice that you were important enough to be named after someone of the past that was important enough to your parents to be named after.
I believe following your family’s heritage is worth an out of date or even hard to say name. The boys in my family are named by Jr., III's, IV’s and so forth. The women all have first names that express what is expected of them in the future. For example my name is Hebrew and it means to succeed. I have had people refer to my name as ghetto and ignorant. However they change their attitudes when they hear the story behind the name. So I think it is important to follow tradition. In my case following tradition with my meaningful name has left an impact on others that stereotype unfamiliar names.
Personally DC I dont agree with it because every child is different, different finger print that makes them unique and have the same name does not mean that they will be any smarter or any less wiser. I believe that you have the write to name your child what you want. And out of respect for you parents should understand that these are different time and things change.
I think the whole "carry on name thing" is kind-of cool. Every family has a different way of expressing their so called family traditions. I however wasn't named after anyone in particular. My dad just picked my name from an old song that he liked growing up. However my younger brother is a 3rd, and he really don't care for it a whole lot. He swares if he ever has a son he won't be a 4th. I however would love to be able to carry on something to my children. Instead they have something to carry on by their father. In my now ex-husbands family they have a different way of carring on a name. Instead of naming 3rd's, 4th's and so on . . . all the boys in the family are with the initials D.L.T. My children's grandfather started this because his initials are D.L.T. This was carried on to his 4 sons and then carried on to his 6 grandsons. I hope my son (when old enough) will carry this on to his children.
So, my answer to this question is "yes" following a family tradition is worth carrying on an "out of date" name.
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